je ne sais pas

Armadillos are mammals. Some of them can roll into little balls. When they are in this ball form, they are completely indestructible. If you try to shoot one, the bullets will deflect back into your eyes, and it will ruin your shit with its lasers and machine guns. It is common knowledge that all armadillos have lasers and fifty calibre machine guns mounted on themselves at birth. You don't even have to be doing anything, and one will roll up and go completely batshit insane on you. In case of armadillo attack, there is no escape, because they can swim. They'll tear you limb from limb, and you can't destroy them because their shells are made of really hard shit, like five month old peanut brittle. They are much like tiny, little, adorable tanks. They are LITTLE PANZERS OF GOD.

This one time while I was in Florida, right? This idiot was talking on his cell phone, and an armadillo jumped onto him out of nowhere and ripped off his finger. He freaked out and ran away like crazy. But little did he know, even more armadillos were waiting just ahead! They totally mauled him and left only his gallbladder behind, because everyone knows armadillos always leave the gallbladder. Remember that.

Oh yeah, at my friend Matt's music school, there is a family of armadillos living on the third floor! Some ass who thought he was good enough to take them on went up there once, and tried shooting them. The bullets bounced back and hit his legs. So while he was being a total baby and bleeding, the armadillos charged him and fried him to a crisp with their lasers. They proceeded to slaughter many small children.

Can you take me back where I came from?

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